Feeding Baby Green by Dr. Alan Greene

Today I finished Feeding Baby Green by Alan Greene, MD.  I REALLY enjoyed this book.  I checked it out from the library (yay!  Free is within my budget!) and I'll be honest, I only skimmed the last couple chapters, which are more about older toddlers and kids.  I figure I'll check it out again in the future if I want more advice at that point in time.

But the first few chapters are great for new moms!  You might even want to read it if your trying to conceive or still pregnant, as it's got whole sections dedicated to what you should eat when pregnant, decision making about breast feeding, etc.  Here are, in my own words, a few take away points that were most relevant to my life given my personal background knowledge...

1) When a baby is breast fed exclusively (or fed pumped bottles), they will have exposure to a wide variety of tastes and flavors, even before they're eating solids.  Thus, for breast fed babies, Dr. Greene recommends starting solid foods at 6 months.  However, with formula fed babies, who typically are only exposed to one flavor for the first several months (e.g., whatever brand of formula you choose), it is more reasonable to start small tastes/flavors of pureed solids earlier (as early as 4 months) so as not to miss out on the window of opportunity for exploring new flavors.  I guess I found this especially relevant because as a feeding therapist, I've worked with so many kids who are failure to thrive and we want them on solids ASAP (e.g., 4 months), but there's a decent argument for waiting until 6 months in this that I hadn't thought of.  (Note: for all you medical folks out there, there are millions of other decent arguments for waiting until 6 months that I know, but I'm just not going to address them all here.)

2) Just as toddlers reach a developmentally appropriate "stranger danger" stage where they don't want to go with new people (this is biologically an AWESOME safety method!), they reach the same phase (around the same time) with flavors... at that point, new flavors will be registered by their brain as unfamiliar, unsafe, essentially poison!  So while you can teach an older toddler or child (or adult) to eat new foods, life is a lot easier if the foods are exposed to the infant/toddler early... BEFORE the food-stranger-danger hits!  Brilliant!

3) Especially if you're starting flavor tasting/solid foods on the early side (but even if you're not), it's a good idea to focus on feeding baby flavors that you don't particularly like.  Think about it.  Throughout their infant, toddler, and childhood stages, they'll have TONS of experience watching you eat your favorite fruit, bananas.  But if you don't particularly like beets, if you don't go out of your way to expose kiddo to them early, then you'll miss them all together... (see #2 for what happens then)!

Finally, I really liked that Dr. Greene included a biodiversity checklist in the back to encourage you to provide varied-enough foods in the early stages. I'd never seen such a complete list. I really liked it, so I copied it here for you (and for my reference after I return the book to the library!):

1. Mushrooms: crimini mushrooms, oyster mushrooms, portobello mushrooms, shiitake mushrooms
2. Amaranths: beet, buckwheat, quinoa, spinach, swiss chard
3. Umbrellifers: anise, arracha, caraway, carrot, celery, chervil, cilantro, coriander, cumin, dill, fennel, lovage, parsley, parsnip
4. Cruciferous vegetables: broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower, chinese cabbage, collard greens, cress, horseradish, mustard, mustard greens, radish, rapeseed, turnip, turnip greens, watercress
5. Bromeliad: pineapple
6. Composites: artichoke, chicory, edible flowers, jerusalem artichoke, lettuces, safflower, sunflower seeds, yacon
7. Bindweeds: sweet potato, water spinach
8. Gourds: cantaloupe, casaba, crenshaw, cucumber, honeydew, muskmelon, pumpkin, watermelon, zucchini
9. Heath: blueberry, cranberry, huckleberry
10. Legumes: azuki, beans, black beans, carob, chickpeas, dried peas, green peas, kidney beans, lentils, lupins, navy beans, peanuts, pinto beans, snap peas, snow peas, soybeans, tamarind
11. Lilies: asparagus, chive, garlic, leeks, onion, shallots
12. Woody: bananas, plantains
13. Sesames: benne, black sesame, gomashio, sesame oil, sesame potherb, sesame seeds, tahini
14. True grasses: barley, brown rice, corn, millet, oats, rye, spelt, wheat
15. Rosy plants: almond, apple, apricot, blackberry, cherry, loquat, medlar, peach, pear, plum, quince, raspberry, strawberry
16. Citrus: grapefruit, lemon, orange, kumquat, kim, mandarin orange, tangerine
17. Nightshades: chili powder, chipotle, fingerling potato, green bell pepper, jalapeno, paprika, red bell pepper, red potato, russet otato, tomatillo, tomatoes, uchuva, yellow bell pepper, yukon gold potato
18. Grapes: currants, grapes, raisins
19. Laurels: avocados, cinnamon, bay leaves, cassia, sassafras
20. Myrtles: allspice, cloves, guava, feijoa
21. Loosestifes: pomegranate

The Attachment Connection by Ruth P Newton PhD

Today I finished reading The Attachment Connection by Ruth Newton, PhD.  I was so engrossed by this book, actually, that I missed my T stop on the way to go work out this morning!  So "finished" may be a bit of an understatement.

The book was exactly what I was looking for.  And I highly recommend parts of it in a few scenarios:

Chapters 1 and 2- AWESOME summary of some basic pediatric neuroscience with lit based references about how babies develop and why they need close connections with their parents.  It was detailed enough to not feel "dumbed down," but simple enough that anyone could read it, even if they're not "the scientific type."  I'd recommend these two chapters for anyone who's a parent or wants to understand parenting and considers themselves a bit of a nerd about it, wanting to know the science behind it.

Chapter one highlights the differences between securely attached (this is what you're aiming for), insecure-avoidant (don't approach parent for reassurance, even when they want it), insecure-ambivalent (seek out parent, but get confused and angry because parent isn't reliable/consistent), and disorganized (inconsistent, no pattern) children.  There are case examples and a history of early attachment literature.

Chapter two goes through details of all the brain parts-- The left hemisphere controlling language and the right hemisphere being associated with body regulation, control of emotions, etc.  It also talks us through the amygdala (which integrates info from threat/fear/anger), the sympathetic nervous system (stress, threat), the parasympathetic nervous system (involved in calming and sleep), and the orbitofrontal cortex.  Chapter two focuses on how parents help regulate their infant/toddler's emotions before the child is able to do so independently through synchrony and resonance with the child's feelings and actions.

Chapters 3-12 apply all of these theories to different age ranges, starting with pregnancy and slowly ramping up to 4 year olds.  There are, again, case examples as well as literature citations explaining his thoughts and theories.  I'll be honest, I skimmed most of these chapters-- there are boxes highlighting what children can do at each age group, which I've read thoroughly in other sources.  And I wasn't really in the mood to read about 3 year olds!  (I did read the two month chapter word for word though). I think these chapters are an excellent overview of ages/stages of development if there's someone out there who hasn't gotten this info from another source yet.

Chapter 13... controversial chapter 13.  This one talks about the day care controversy, highlighting the drama that came in the news when early articles in the 70s and 80s said that children who'd spent time in day care were more aggressive than those cared for by their mothers.  And when she introduced the topic, I thought for sure she was going to debunk that myth.  But she didn't.  She addressed it relatively politically correctly, but does come to the conclusion that
   "1. The quality of parenting predicted higher levels of social skills and positive social-emotional outcomes than did child care experience.
    2. Children in higher quality center-based care had higher vocabulary scores in fifth grade than children in lower quality center-based child care.
    3. Children with more center-based care, in particular, had more behavioral problems in sixth grade."
Definitely the scientific argument for staying home as much as possible within the first 3 years of your child's life.  Hm...

My favorite nugget from the book came all the way up in chapter two, though, when she was talking about sides of the brain.  She explained how infants and toddlers are predominantly right brained during years 0-3 while they're pre-verbal or have low levels of verbal communication.  And that parents (and adults in general) responded to children in this age group first with their right brains.  Additionally, due to the way our eyes and brains are connected, inputs from the left are processed in the right brain and vice versa.  Thus, when one craddles their child on the left side, they are unknowingly connecting the child's right brain (left visual field) with their own right brain (left visual field).  And did you know that 83% of right handed and 78% of left handed mothers craddle their babies naturally on the left?  hm...

The Baby Sleep Book by Dr. William Sears

A friend complimented me a couple weeks ago about the amount of research I was putting into parenthood (and pregnancy, labor, and delivery).  I reminded her then and I will state for the record now, I tend to decide what I want to do, then look up books, articles, and websites who will provide me support for the decision I made.  I am not so good at reading both sides of a debate and then deciding between them.  So please, don't feel like my support of certain authors is an unbiased, researched view point.  And other mothers (or future mothers) out there, please don't let my seemingly researched opinions make you feel bad for any decisions you've made or want to make.  I pick and choose what I like and cite it.  Not the other way around.

That disclaimer aside, I wanted to tell you all how much I really enjoyed reading Dr. Sears' The Baby Sleep Book.  I picked it up for a couple reasons.  First, it was on the shelf at my local branch library in the parenting section... and it's a small branch, so pickings were (relatively) slim.  Second, I'd heard of this Dr. Sears guy with regard to vaccines and I wanted to read something (anything) he had to say.  And third, I thought, "maybe I should start reading in advance rather than reading about stages of Baby O's life that have just past.  So, knowing that we were still well in the stage of "sleep when the baby sleeps" and "there is no such thing as schedule," I thought I could get a head start on understanding sleep now so that I could be prepared when we move into the next stage (whatever that may be).

For several days, I could not put this book down!  I really liked it.  Dr. Sears (and his family of docs and nurses) is one of the biggest proponents of Attachment Parenting.  So from the very beginning of this book, I knew that it would be providing me some detailed information that was in line with things I already wanted to do and theories I believe.  The chapter on co-sleeping (chapter 5) was reassuring to me and provided me with a little bit of literature reference for what I already knew to be true-- the news splash on how evil co-sleeping is because it's dangerous was just that-- a news splash.  He goes through the literature, explaining how the big study that made co-sleeping known as dangerous was not randomized (of course) and didn't even have a control.  They found a few hundred kids died when sleeping in adult beds.  But did you know that there's no reference in that article to the few thousand kids who died in cribs within the same amount of time?  Very interesting.

I also really liked the importance this book placed on fathers.  Just because I'm nursing (and co-sleeping) doesn't mean that my husband isn't a very important part of Baby O's life.  And long before we read this book, Ben has been great at taking turns with me attempting to calm her when she cries and rocking her to sleep when it's bedtime.  Sure, because I'm nursing, I get more of the middle-of-the-night duty than he does... but he's by no means absent.  Just as reassurance, though, chapter 8 of this book is all about night time fathering.  And it's full of good advice!

Finally, I'd say that I liked this book because it clarified the difference for me between "Cry it out alone" (which I don't want to do) and "cry it out in the arms of a parent figure," which may be important some day in the near future!  He lists out the basis for not following a stereotypical sleep training/cry it out method, and I'm fully in agreement with not crying it out.  However, he also calms my nerves by saying that yes, some times my child will cry.  And sometimes it will be for no reason.  Or because the answer I give her is "no" (e.g., if we were night weaning and she wanted to nurse for comfort... just as one example).  And in those scenarios, when they happen, it's perfectly okay for me to let O cry while we're cuddling and loving her in other ways.

I will confess, though, that just because I love his theories and ideas now doesn't mean I'll love them after I [try to] put them into practice in the future.  Maybe I'll learn that his ways are too simple, not realistic.  What do you guys think?  What tips do you have for night time parenting and sleep management?  Are there other theories you like more than Dr. Sears'?

Nursing Mother, Working Mother by Gale Pryor

I recently finished reading this book, Nursing Mother, Working Mother by Gale Pryor and Kathleen Huggins.  I'd picked it up at my local branch library, because I thought the title and topic were particularly relevant for me.

I'm not going back to work full time, but I am returning 20 hours a week after the end of my maternity leave.  And because of the length of my work days, I will certainly have to pump while I'm there.  I thought, based on a brief scan while standing in the stacks, that this book might offer me a bit of support, advice, and encouragement, specifically about the pumping part.

After having finished it, I'd say that it certainly is well written, but possibly a bit repetitive if you plan on reading it word for word.  In addition, the early chapters were very basic/familiar to me from previous reading I'd done on Attachment Parenting. However, for anyone who isn't obsessed with reading parenting books but is just looking for 1 or 2 basic ones to get started, those early chapters are a nice summary.

The 2nd half of the book was more relevant to me... providing advice about the different factors involved in being a nursing mom who works, pumps, etc.  And overall, the book gives a nice background history on women's rights with regard to being a mother in the workforce and also some interesting cultural information about breastfeeding and different parts of the world.  For instance, in one of the early chapters, the author sites a study from Tanka in South China.  According to this book, women who nurse typically do so with their right breast only.  And 80% of the breast cancer that develops in older women occurs in the left breast.  Pretty decent argument for breastfeeding, eh?

First Time Mom by Dr. Kevin Leman

A year or two ago, I read Sex Begins in the Kitchen by Dr. Kevin Leman during the first months/years of marriage that we all know can be so hard.  I recall liking it, especially because of it's Christian edge.










Thus, when I found First Time Mom by Dr. Kevin Leman on the shelf at my local branch library I was really excited!  So I brought it home and it went in the pile to be read.  And I finally got to it this week!

Dr. Leman is good... I like most of what he has to say.  But in terms of useful books for me right now, this one wasn't.  The scope of the book was too long and broad... talking about both the first 10 days at home as well as toddlerhood and what to teach your child about baby #2 when/if it comes.  I also got a little frustrated with it's constant clarifying tone about how everything in the book was true with both birth children and adoptive children.  Sure, mention that once or twice... but in every single chapter... it got old.

I would recommend this book to you if you're looking for one of a couple things:

a) Something to read while pregnant before you bring baby home... the first two chapters were certainly "too late" for me (Welcome Home and the First 10 Days), and the 3rd chapter (Eating, Sleeping, Crying) was all pretty familiar too.

b) You're looking for encouragement to stay home instead of working.  Chapter 6 (To Work or Not to Work) definitely argues for mom to stay home... and then makes a decent argument that if mom can't, dad should.

I would not recommend the book if you're looking for biblical references for any of this... the thing I was most disappointed about.  He discusses "Christian values" but doesn't site anything in the bible.  Disappointing to me.

Beyond the Sling, by Mayim Bialik

Today I finished reading Mayim Bialik's new book called Beyond the Sling: a real-life guide to raising confident, loving children the attachment parenting way.  That's right.  You heard me.  A guide to parenting written by Blossom.  Deal with it.

I only learned of this book about a week ago.  And honestly, in my current post-partum brain status, I have no idea how I heard about it.  Another mommy blog?  A parenting website?  I'm totally clueless.  But I told Ben that I wanted to read it.  And in perfect Ben form, just a few days later, it showed up in my mailbox from Amazon.  

I think Mayim's (Dr. Bialik's???) writing style is really easy to read.  It's conversational.  I can sorta hear her (or what I presume is her) in my head, making jokes, using sarcasm, and being alternately very serious about a variety of topics which are both important and fascinating to me.

If the term "attachment parenting" is new to you, it was coined by researchers decades ago to describe what others have sometimes referred to as "instinctual parenting," the type of parenting that humans have used in indigenous cultures for centuries to raise their children.  There are, as Attachment Parenting International describes them, 8 main principles:

1. Preparing for Pregnancy, Birth, and Parenting - most 'attachment parents' have a goal of natural childbirth due to the benefits for baby and mom.

2. Feeding as more than just intake of nutrients - most 'attachment parents' have a goal of breast feeding and gentle/delayed weaning

3. Sensitivity - this feels hard to define, but usually ends up being pertinent with regard to discipline.

4. Nurturing Touch - aka, babywearing, but also breastfeeding, massage, and other types of physical closeness.

5. Safe sleep (physical and emotional) - the idea of parenting both during the day and at night, often leading parents to co-sleeping and/or bed-sharing.

6. Consistent loving care - the idea that parents are the primary (and often sole) caregivers without frequent use of babysitters, day cares, etc.

7. Positive Discipline - or gentle discipline.  Relates a lot to #3.

8. Balance - balancing the parents' needs with the child's needs.

What I like about Mayim's book is that she addresses all of these principles without taking a hard stance that you must do all 8 or you're a bad parent.  In fact, her book almost contains too many statements of "now I know not everyone does this, and there are other ways to parent, but...."  She basically describes what she and her family do without making you feel like following her ideas and principles are the only way to parent.  It was gentle.  Sensitive.  Probably just like her parenting is!  

And other than chapter 7 on "elimination communication" (the idea that your baby is potty trained from birth and doesn't need diapers), I agree with the vast majority of what she has to say.  Now I just have to figure out how to functionally make it all make sense in my life with my family's needs, which are (of course) different than her family's needs.